I Used to Be Somebody: (Un)Retirement Lessons Learned

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Home Features Every Newly (Un)Retired Couple Wants

Diana Landau | April 11, 2022
This is a “love letter” from my wife Diana about her experience with me moving my office home.
 
  1. Cone of Silence—That’s right, Get Smart style. Just press a button and you can have actual phone conversations without your partner “interjecting” with helpful opinions.
 
  1. Padded Room—Not for your partner, but for yourself. Sometimes sharing the home 24/7 is all a bit too much.
 
  1. The True Divider—This is an actual wall constructed down the middle of your one office that you have to share. Matching shelving on each side for storing YOUR very important mementos and vital personal items that your partner erroneously states are “junk.”
 
  1. Kitchen Sweeper—Not for your floors, but for your kitchen counters where partner has left remnants of lunch, part-time work papers, backpack full of pickleballs and lots of notes written in tiny scribble that not even the cat can decipher.
 
  1. Private Sanctuary—Uh, a certain partner uses this term for the bathroom. Whatever.
 
  1. Discerning Doorbell—this features a speaker that says loudly, firmly yet politely, “Go Away!” for those times when neither of you want to get up and see who’s at the door.
 
  1. Living Room—This area is actually your new office/sanctuary. As you talk on the phone, you look at the walls and imagine them padded. (See #2 above.)
 
  1. Sports Viewing Room—It’s actually outside. Well, ok, the man or woman cave in the garage, but please, just outside.
 
  1. Pet Throne—With all the extra time you two have now, you both spend an inordinate amount of time fawning over the pet(s). Perfect, fluffy, organic, silk pillow for Fido? Yes, Amazon!
 
  1. Outsized Wine Rack—This feature becomes critical to survival and civility as time goes on.
Tags:    the carl diary   unretirement   home office   marriage   work from home  

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