It's been a few years now since I ended my full-time career and (un)retired. I have had more time for myself and everything else in general with not so many stressful demands on my time. I've noticed my perspective about some things has changed. Am I a weirdo or do you notice it in (un)retirement too?

In my full-time career, I felt like my schedule was always at warp speed, even bringing my laptop on vacation. (Ok, I still do that.) But I'm actually enjoying becoming sort of "Zen-like" about very ordinary things that I either hated to do or rushed through to do.

I'm a different guy now! Here's what I mean:

Trash/Recycle Guy: Once a week, we need to put out the trash can at the curb and every-other-week the recycling. I find that now I'm somehow in some sort of a contest with my next- door neighbor, Norman, who can get the cans out faster than anyone on the street. (Full exposure, I'm sure my neighbor has no idea about this supposed contest.) And when I take a walk around the neighborhood now, I'm even picking up the knocked over empty trash cans that are laying in the street. I'm this guy now?

Laundry/Football Guy: I hate doing laundry. Yet somehow I'm now looking forward to doing laundry and folding clothes while I watch football/basketball/baseball. (Did you know there is actually only 18 minutes of live action during a typical NFL game?) My wife appreciates this new laundry guy very much.

Stretch/Meditate Guy: I am an A-personality type guy that never allowed down time for anything. Now I find myself every morning spending at least 15-20 minutes of mindful stretching on a yoga mat and meditating to some music. My 17-year old cat, Felix, joins in on the yoga-mat-fun and "stretches" with me. He thinks this is his new daily routine too. (Imagine him waving his tale in my face, jumping over me and generally bothering me to the beat of the tunes.) So even the cat likes this guy.

Breakfast Tea Guy: I drank glasses of Diet Coke every morning for 45 years. A month ago, I decided to stop. I feel so much better now! I really can't believe the difference. Since I don't care for coffee, I am now a cup or two, tea-drinker with honey and a little-spoon to go with it. Yep, that's me now. I start the day relaxed and calm, vs. hyped up on diet coke. Everyone likes this guy.

Feelings Guy: I don't end any phone call or visit with my daughters without saying "I love you so much." I'm telling my college friend and roommate from 45 years ago that I love him. What in the hell is happening to me? But I think I like this empathetic, Kumbaya guy.

I sure hope this continues. I wonder what changes will happen next. What about you?

Tags:    The Carl Diary   (Un)retirement   Discover   Blog   Pickleball   I Used To Be Somebody   Carl Landau   Who am I now?  

I'm currently starting my 4th year of what we call (Un)Retirement. And maybe I've learned a thing or two I can share to help you...

Actually do it and retire! I thought about it many times. Exactly when should I cut the cord and stop working the crazy hours and dealing with the pressure of running my own business for 40+ years? The best advice I give people about (Un)Retirement is do it sooner rather than later. I wish I had sold/quit 5 years earlier. The last couple of work years were a drag on my mind, body and spirit. And I didn't realize it until I stopped.

Hire a pro to create a financial plan. The reason I felt comfortable in stopping the job/career is that I had been working with a great financial planner for several years in anticipation of the change. That person is Ian Castille at Capital Advantage and I consider him a good friend at this point.

I talk to so many people that have/had successful careers and have created wealth that they manage themselves. Or at least they try. This is crazy. What do you truly know about the financial market? I'd rather pay someone that studies the market all day to make my decisions. I sleep so much better at night because of this.

Avoid the temptation to go back! You are an expert with experience and it's so tempting to go back. I was in the live event biz for the past 20 years. I know that business back and forth and have seen so many opportunities to return. But, every time I return to my senses (also with the wise counsel of my wife Diana who had to put up with my totally-consumed-working-self for many years). Now I focus on where I'm going!

Do something new. Use the skills you already have, except in a new way. After working for decades, we all have developed incredible insights into organization, management, writing or whatever. Just use that toolbox in some new and cool endeavor.

Hire someone to do the shit you don't like to do or aren't good at. When I first was launching our podcast and newsletter I was going to hire an assistant. But my friend Bekah said I should consider hiring a virtual assistant company. I did that 3+ years ago. I hired a company Monkey Creative. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. No employees for me to worry about and I only pay for what I need done. I get to do the writing and they handle the graphics, e-marketing and all the other stuff I don't want to do/not good at.

Just start and see what happens. I didn't have a plan beyond starting the I Used to be Somebody podcast and newsletter. Then I took a leap of faith. Perhaps it would lead to something else? It lead to me interviewing 80 incredible people that I would never have met in a million years. Many I now consider my friends. The podcast and some pickleball talk led to Diana and I co-authoring (with our instructor and friends Mo and Reine) the Amazon best-seller, Pickleball for dummies. Most recently, my new path has led to leading vacation tours around the world for our podcast audience. You never know...

Tags:    the carl diary   unretirement   pickleball   Best decisions   second act   pickleball book   I Used To Be Somebody   Podcast  

I just went past my 3-year mark of what we like to call (Un)Retirement. It's about no longer having the big job and now you have the time to freestyle and figure out what you want to do with the remainder of your life. There are just a few times in your life that you can naturally reinvent yourself. The biggest opportunities for that are; 1) after you graduate from high school or embark on a career path, and 2) life after the big job, aka NOW (for some of us).
 

The normal benchmarks for success previously come to us as annual reviews at work or if you're an entrepreneur, it's a profit/loss company statement. At this post-career stage of life, those metrics don't apply anymore. Not a all! It's a total self-examination that's completely wide open and even a bit challenging. Don't compare yourself at this point in time to your friends and peers. You can be totally subjective and it's all up to you if you want to evaluate how you're doing.

The one universal thread that rings true (and I know it might sound obvious) is we all need purpose when we wake up in the morning to get out of bed. It doesn't matter what that purpose is-- whether it's spending time with a grandchild, starting a new company, volunteering for a cause you are passionate about or playing a sport like pickleball. You've got to have that drive. And for extra credit, if you create a diverse set of passions, all the better!

What I've learned
It takes time to figure out this (Un)Retirement thing. Like most people, it's not so easy in the beginning. Getting used to this sort of wide open yet vague new world is weird! I spent the first year worrying that I should be doing more things and in the back of my mind, I felt like I was forgetting something from my work. I was so used to running a business for my entire adult life that it was ingrained in me that I always had to be super busy.

 

Work PTSD
Once I slowed down, I realized that I actually suffered from some sort of PTSD from the event business I ran for 20 years. For years I would have bad nightmares about the event I was working on. I think it was from the pressure of getting enough attendees to sign up for the events. And my recurring nightmare was that we aren't ready for attendees, lots of scrambling. It makes no sense because we were always ready. But, it took me two full years until the nightmares finally faded away. 

New Stuff
What I really enjoy doing is creating new projects and businesses. I started my (Un)Retirement during the pandemic. I love listening to podcasts and I decided to start working hard to create a new podcast business with me as the host. On a whim, I called my new company Pickleball Media (because l also love pickleball) and our target audience is Baby Boomers who are at the forefront of the (Un)Retirement AND pickleball wave! 

When I started researching the pickleball industry, I realized that there were incredible business opportunities. There were no real business-to-business conferences or a tradeshow in this emerging sport. Maybe I could seize the opportunity and make a ton of money and get that high from creating another new event. But, instead.......

Learning to say NO 
I said "no" to the pickleball opportunity because it would have taken me right back to where I already had been. I decided to move forward into the new with my life and not go back to the stress and anxiety of the event business (remember the nightmares). So now I have a new rule for my (Un)Retirement. "If it sounds like so much work, I don't want to do it." I'm not afraid to work hard. But I don't want to be consumed by work ever again. I've moved past that now.

 

Changing course
During the first year of (Un)Retirement I started the I Used to be Somebody podcast and newsletter every week. I truly love doing it. But after 10 months I realized that this weekly schedule felt like real work again (see above rule #1). I used to fill out my Google calendar with all the interviews and deadlines for the podcast and newsletter and if I had any extra time available, I'd play some pickleball.
 

Once I noticed this trend, I reversed my work / play agenda. I went to a monthly podcast and newsletter and would first fill my calendar with pickleball 4 times a week, and then fill in the fun things with friends and family and what was left over time-wise went to work. I reversed my priorities......and I'm so much happier!

Getting out of your comfort zone
Probably the most difficult yet satisfying thing I've done so far in (Un)Retirement is to take a stand up comedy class and perform before 100 people. I've always been interested in stand up and saw a new class taught by a very talented comedian Jack Gallagher, here in Sacramento. I saw an ad on Facebook and signed up immediately for the workshop without even discussing it with my wife or anyone else. I was afraid if I told someone and thought more about it, I'd chicken out.

We've all seen stand up comedians. It looks easy. Trust me, it's not easy! Not only do you write your own material but you need to deliver it as well. (Which are entirely different skills, btw.) I have so much respect for comedians now. We only had five classes, two hours a week and then on the sixth one, we performed live before a big audience. The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass myself and bomb. I took the whole thing very seriously. I probably practiced my set 80 times. (Just ask my wife.)

Jack's goal was for each of us to do a five minute set. My set ended up being 12 minutes and I fully expected Jack to cut it down at the end. At our dress rehearsal one week before the show, I asked Jack what I needed to cut out. He said, "No cuts. It's great! You're going to do it all."  At the show, I nailed it. It was one of the highlights of my life! Carl's 12 minutes of Comedy Gold. 

Taking risks reaps rewards
So the decisions I've made so far in (Un)Retirement have given me a new perspective on what matters most: 

• Sleep matters. With less stress in my life, I sleep so much better. I used to sleep on average about 5 1/2 or 6 hours a night. Now I get my full 8 hours of sleep plus a short afternoon nap sometimes. Sleep is so important for  overall health.

• Exercise matters. I play pickleball 4 days a week now. And I walk 10,000 steps a day on the non-pickleball days. I've lost about 8 lbs. this past year. I stretch / meditate (with my cat Felix) 20 minutes every day and love it!  I feel much better physically and mentally.

• Friends matter. I've reconnected with several friends from my childhood and 20's and visited them. Since my career took me out of town a lot, I didn't have much time to meet people locally. Now I've got more local friends than I've ever had. Just joining a pickleball club gave me a dozen new friends that I see all the time. As you get older, an active social life makes a huge difference in your state of mind.

• You matter. Learn how to say NO. I simply avoid negative people and things I don't want to do. No more endless zoom calls and I've stopped doing online presentations. (Do people really want to watch 3 talking heads on a Youtube video?) I spoke at a live, in-person conference last month in New Orleans and loved it. I don't want to live in an only-virtual world. I want to make real connections with inspiring people and I don't need to do it only online.

I think the biggest thing I've learned so far is not to worry so much about stuff.  Most of our worries aren't something that we can control or influence in any way. Somehow I've developed a new mindset that allows my worry quotient to go down. 

Of course, I don't have all the answers to my life all figured out yet. But, after 3 years of (Un)Retirement, I feel like I know some of the questions and I like the newly reinvented me.

Tags:    the carl diary   unretirement   comfort zone   pickleball   stand up comedy   second act   reinvention  

This is a “love letter” from my wife Diana about her experience with me moving my office home.

1. Cone of Silence—That’s right, Get Smart style. Just press a button and you can have actual phone conversations without your partner “interjecting” with helpful opinions.

2. Padded Room—Not for your partner, but for yourself. Sometimes sharing the home 24/7 is all a bit too much.

3. The True Divider—This is an actual wall constructed down the middle of your one office that you have to share. Matching shelving on each side for storing YOUR very important mementos and vital personal items that your partner erroneously states are “junk.”

4. Kitchen Sweeper—Not for your floors, but for your kitchen counters where partner has left remnants of lunch, part-time work papers, backpack full of pickleballs and lots of notes written in tiny scribble that not even the cat can decipher.

5. Private Sanctuary—Uh, a certain partner uses this term for the bathroom. Whatever.

6. Discerning Doorbell—this features a speaker that says loudly, firmly yet politely, “Go Away!” for those times when neither of you want to get up and see who’s at the door.

7. Living Room—This area is actually your new office/sanctuary. As you talk on the phone, you look at the walls and imagine them padded. (See #2 above.)

8. Sports Viewing Room—It’s actually outside. Well, ok, the man or woman cave in the garage, but please, just outside.

9. Pet Throne—With all the extra time you two have now, you both spend an inordinate amount of time fawning over the pet(s). Perfect, fluffy, organic, silk pillow for Fido? Yes, Amazon!

10. Outsized Wine Rack—This feature becomes critical to survival and civility as time goes on.

Tags:    the carl diary   unretirement   home office   marriage   work from home  

You need to "practice what you preach". We're always encouraging listeners on the I Used to be Somebody show to try doing something NEW and more FUN. So, I felt like I had to try something new.....

WARNING: For anyone trying something entirely new ( a second act), at the beginning you're going to be frustrated, scared, overwhelmed and at some point you're going to want to give up. These are natural feelings. It's supposed to be a challenge! So have patience and give yourself a break when trying something new. 

I signed up for a six week comedy stand-up workshop and our final was performing before a live audience. I learned a ton by taking on this project and it really kicked me out of my comfort zone.

• Stand-up is HARD, and not just because you are talking in front of an audience with bright spotlights focused on you. You have to learn to take command of the room while at the same time you are trying to get a very specific response from the audience -- laughter! (And not just once but for most of the time you are up on stage.)

• You have to be a good writer, develop a script, memorize it and then successfully perform that set without note cards, which are four entirely different skills. Oh yeah---and be really funny!

• Find a great mentor, it makes a difference. I was so lucky because I had the incredible comedian, Jack Gallagher, who has had a big time career in comedy and acting.

Jack told our class, "Regardless if you continue with your stand-up career or not, the experience translates into big-time confidence in anything else you do in the future. If you can do stand-up, you are bullet proof for anything." I think this is totally true.

Tags:    the carl diary   stand up comedy   comedy   comfort zone   comedy gold   funny   jack gallagher